We all hit moments when we think, “Blimey, I wish I’d learned this sooner.” That’s part of growing up—collecting lessons as we go. But some lessons feel so foundational that I’m writing them down now to make sure I teach my kids (if and when I have them). Think of this as a living list of life lessons I wish I’d picked up earlier—about money, careers, learning, habits, manners, health, family, reading, and simply becoming more resilient.
None of this is rocket science, and some of it won’t surprise you. But timing matters. The right idea, heard early enough, can change the way you move through the world. I’m sharing what’s actually helped me—simple, honest, UK‑leaning advice learned the long way round—in case it helps another parent, future parent, or anyone passing on practical wisdom.
- Finances: Saving – LISA, pensions, emergency funds
- Career: pick a direction, build proof, stay adaptable
- Studying: make learning small, daily, and social
- Habits: discipline, systems, and 1% gains
- Manners: small courtesies, big impact
- Exercise: move your body, protect your mind
- Family & socialising: show up in real life
- Reading: fiction, non‑fiction, and winding down well
- DIY skills: confidence through doing
- Final thoughts: a living list, not a rulebook
Finances: Saving – LISA, pensions, emergency funds
I learned most of my money lessons the hard way. I wish someone had sat me down earlier and explained the basics: why we save, how to budget, and what smart saving does for future you. Teaching kids about money isn’t “don’t spend too much”—it’s “use money to buy freedom, reduce stress, and open choices.”
Start with goals (the why) It’s easier to save when you’re aiming at something. Set short, medium and long‑term targets: a console or trip (months), a car or moving out (1–5 years), and a first‑home deposit or financial cushion (5+ years). Once the goal is clear, the plan writes itself.
Where to put savings There are loads of accounts, but a few do most of the work: a high‑interest easy‑access savings account (great for emergencies and near‑term goals), fixed‑rate bonds (better rates if you can lock money for 1–3 years), and for first‑timers a Lifetime ISA (LISA).
LISA explained (UK) You can contribute up to £4,000 a year and the government adds 25% (up to £1,000), within your overall ISA allowance. Use it for a first home (up to £450k) after 12 months or keep it for retirement. Example: £4,000 a year for 10 years = £50,000 before interest (£40k you + £10k bonus). Not everyone can max it, but knowing what’s possible helps you plan. Rules change—always check current UK guidance.
Pensions and compounding (your future’s best friend) Compound interest is interest earning on interest. £1,000 at 5% becomes £1,050 in year one; in year two you earn 5% on £1,050, and so on. Starting earlier gives your money longer to grow, so the same monthly amount from 18 vs 25 can mean a much larger pot by retirement. In the UK, workplace pensions help: auto‑enrolment, tax relief (salary sacrifice can also reduce National Insurance), and often an employer match—free money that compounds. As a rule of thumb, aim for 12–15% combined (you + employer) across your career if you can.
Emergency fund (rainy‑day buffer) Keep 1–3 months of essential outgoings in a high‑interest easy‑access account, then build to 3–6 months. The interest is a bonus; the real win is avoiding high‑cost debt when life happens.
Spending within your means (in a social media world) Ignore other people’s highlight reels. Automate savings on payday, pay credit cards in full, treat BNPL as debt, and bump your saving rate when your income rises. The essentials for me: know why you’re saving, pick the right accounts (LISA, pension, high‑interest savings), and let time and compound growth do the heavy lifting.
Simple starter plan
- Pick one short, one medium and one long‑term goal.
- Open a high‑interest easy‑access account (emergency + near‑term).
- If eligible, open a LISA and set a monthly amount you can stick to.
- Join the workplace pension and contribute at least enough to get the full employer match; increase a notch with each pay rise.
- Review every 3–6 months. Automate where possible.
Quick FAQ (SEO‑friendly)
- Is a LISA worth it in the UK? Often yes for first‑time buyers because of the 25% bonus, but check fees, eligibility, and current rules.
- How much should I keep in an emergency fund? Start with 1–3 months of essentials; build towards 3–6 months as you can.
- What’s the minimum I should put in a pension? At least enough to get your employer’s full match; aim for 12–15% combined over time if affordable.
Note: This is general info, not financial advice. UK rules and rates change—double‑check current guidance before acting.
Career: pick a direction, build proof, stay adaptable
Choose a direction, then build towards it. This one’s easy to say and harder to do, but picking a direction sooner really helps—you get more time to progress and it keeps you focused. You don’t need a perfect plan or a fixed job title; start with a rough idea of where you want to end up and break it into steps. Run small experiments—taster courses, shadow days, volunteering, side projects—to see what sticks. Direction → skills → proof → people.
Turn that into a simple plan: a three‑year target role you’d like to be capable of, a few skills or certifications to tackle this year, and monthly actions that actually move the needle (ship one project, learn one skill block, speak to one person doing the job you want). Get real‑world reps early—part‑time work, internships, work experience, freelancing, or UK routes like apprenticeships, degree apprenticeships and NVQs. University is great for some paths, but it’s not the only one.
Make yourself easy to find with a clean, results‑focused CV, a useful LinkedIn headline and a small portfolio that proves what you can do—outcomes beat buzzwords every time. Learn to interview with clear stories (what you did and the result), ask for feedback, find a mentor if you can, and don’t be shy about negotiating once you’ve checked salary bands. Most importantly, don’t treat your first choice like a life sentence—if the path isn’t what you expected, pivot and update the plan. Small, consistent steps compound into opportunities.
Studying: make learning small, daily, and social
When I say “studying,” I mean always learning. Curiosity keeps your mind sharp, your life interesting, and your confidence growing. It doesn’t have to look like school—follow what you enjoy and add small blocks of knowledge over time. You don’t need to master everything; learning a little about a lot makes you more rounded, and depth can come later.
The easiest way to build a learning habit is to keep it tiny and daily. Ten to twenty minutes is enough, especially if you use dead time well—a podcast on a walk, an audiobook while cooking, a short video on the commute. Keep a simple “curiosity list” in your notes app and pick one thing a day to explore. I like the 1–1–1 idea: learn one thing, write one sentence about it, share it with one person. Tiny wins stack fast.
Mix “useful” with “fun” so you stay engaged. Practical life skills (a few great meals, basic first aid, bike or car maintenance, simple home repairs) pay off forever. Money basics (budgeting, compound interest, pensions, investing) reduce future stress. Digital skills (spreadsheets, coding basics via freeCodeCamp, design tools like Canva or Figma) are handy in almost any job. Balance that with creativity (photography, drawing, music production, writing), a few phrases of a new language each week, and wellbeing—sleep, habits, mindfulness, strength training. There are loads of free UK‑friendly resources: FutureLearn, OpenLearn, Coursera and edX for courses, and Libby for free library ebooks and audiobooks.
Learn smarter, not harder. Instead of re‑reading, test yourself from memory and summarise what you learned—active recall beats passive review. Revisit key ideas over days and weeks (spaced repetition apps like Anki help). Teach someone else or post a short explanation; teaching exposes gaps and cements understanding. Build small projects so learning turns into something real—a budget template, a short video, a simple app, a photo series. Focus on just‑in‑time learning tied to a project; it’s easier to stay motivated when you need the skill right now.
Make it social because learning compounds with people. Join a club or community—a book or podcast club, coding group, maker space, sports team, or local class—and ask good questions. Volunteer to learn new skills while meeting people you wouldn’t otherwise meet. For kids and teens in the UK, great options include libraries, Duke of Edinburgh, Scouts/Guides, school clubs, hackathons, youth theatre and local workshops. Aim for T‑shaped growth: broad across many areas so you’re adaptable, with one or two deeper spikes that make you especially valuable.
Don’t over‑engineer the tools. Notion or Obsidian for light notes, Pocket or Instapaper to save articles, Libby for audiobooks on the go. Start small, keep it daily, and let the habit do the heavy lifting. Continuous learning builds confidence, creates opportunities, strengthens connections, and makes you more resilient when life changes.
Habits: discipline, systems, and 1% gains
This is something we could all do better at, and teaching it early pays dividends for decades. One of my favourite books on the topic is James Clear’s Atomic Habits—the idea that small actions compound really stuck with me. You don’t need superhuman willpower; discipline is mostly about systems and environment. Aim to be a little bit better most days; those tiny gains add up. (If you did 1% better every single day for a year, the maths works out to roughly 37x—numbers aside, the point is that small wins compound.)
The basics that work for me are simple. Stack a new habit onto an existing one: after X, I do Y. Make good habits obvious and easy (gym kit by the door, book on your pillow) and bad habits a touch harder (phone in another room during study, junk apps off the home screen). Use the two‑minute rule to make starting friction‑free: read one page, do one push‑up, open the notes doc. Track your streaks lightly (a calendar tick or notes app), use “never miss twice” when you slip, and do a quick weekly reset to line up the next seven days.
Keep examples boringly practical. Do the housework or homework before gaming. Pack your bag the night before. Put an automatic transfer to savings on payday. Set app limits if you need them. For kids and teens, link chores to pocket money, read a few pages after dinner, or spend 10 minutes tidying before TV. For adults, try a 10‑minute walk after logging off, stretch while the kettle boils, or run one load of laundry after your morning coffee. Remove friction for the right things (healthy snacks visible, guitar on a stand) and add friction for the wrong ones (website blockers in the evening, sweets out of sight). Over time, tiny actions done consistently build confidence and momentum—discipline is just the habit of making those small, smart choices on repeat.
Manners: small courtesies, big impact
It might sound old‑fashioned, but I genuinely think manners have slipped over the last decade. There’s a noticeable lack of basic courtesy and respect, and it shows up in little moments—the “please,” “thank you,” “excuse me,” or a simple smile. Those tiny gestures matter. People treat you with more respect when you’re polite, and that goes a long way—especially with first impressions. Manners aren’t about being posh; they’re about showing you see the person in front of you.
The basics are simple and powerful: say please and thank you, hold doors, make eye contact, and be on time. In the UK, respect a queue and let people off the train before you get on. Lower your voice on public transport, offer your seat if someone needs it, and put your phone away when someone’s speaking. Learn and use people’s names. After someone helps you, send a quick thank‑you message or note—it’s tiny effort for a big impact. And when you mess up, apologise properly: “I’m sorry I [did X]. I can see that [impact]. Next time I’ll [do Y].” No excuses, no deflection.
Online manners count too. Start messages with a greeting, don’t fire off one‑word replies, and avoid ALL CAPS or sarcasm that won’t translate. Be generous with clarity—use paragraphs, not walls of text. Don’t ghost people; if you can’t do something, reply with a polite “no” and a quick reason. Before you hit send, read it like a stranger would.
Teach kids by modelling it in everyday life: eye contact, a friendly hello to shop staff, a proper thank‑you, holding the door, offering help when someone’s juggling bags. For teens, practise email intros, respectful disagreement, and follow‑ups after work experience or interviews. These little habits cost nothing but compound into trust, opportunities, and kinder interactions.
Exercise: move your body, protect your mind
You only get one body, so look after it. That doesn’t mean living in the gym—it means building simple, sustainable habits that keep you healthy. Start early and make it part of your routine; moving your body regularly lifts your mood, reduces stress, boosts energy and focus, and does wonders for mental health. And you don’t need a gym: pick active things you actually enjoy—football, dance, swimming, cycling, hiking, climbing, a brisk walk with a podcast, or Parkrun with a friend. Walking absolutely counts.
As a rough guide, aim for around 150 minutes of moderate activity a week (that’s 20–30 minutes most days) plus a couple of short strength sessions—bodyweight is fine. Consistency beats intensity. Keep it social if that helps—join a class, a five‑a‑side team, or a walking group—getting out of the house and being around people makes it easier to stick with. UK‑friendly starters: NHS Couch to 5K, Parkrun on Saturday mornings, beginner yoga/Pilates at your local leisure centre, or a home routine with a resistance band.
Make it easy to start. Lay out your trainers the night before, put sessions in your calendar, go with a buddy, and use a “just 10 minutes” rule on low‑motivation days—once you’re moving, you’ll often do more. Anchor it with simple, healthy basics: decent sleep, plenty of water, mostly whole foods, a bit of stretching, and some daylight each day. You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to keep showing up. Your future self will thank you.
Family & socialising: show up in real life
Socialising might come naturally to some, but in an age of constant scrolling and DMs, we have to make a deliberate effort to show up in real life. I’m always happier after a coffee with a friend than an hour of doomscrolling. Face‑to‑face time teaches things you can’t learn on a screen—reading body language, timing a joke, handling awkward pauses, resolving disagreements, building empathy. It boosts confidence too. Being able to hold a conversation, listen well, and maintain steady eye contact are real‑world skills that shape first impressions and long‑term relationships. Family is your first team: the people who celebrate you, challenge you, and have your back.
Make it part of the routine with small, repeatable rituals. Shared meals without phones. A Sunday walk. Movie night. Phoning grandparents. Showing up to each other’s events. Say yes to things that put you around people: join a club or local class, volunteer, go to community events, invite friends round for a simple dinner. Keep tech in its place with gentle boundaries like no phones at the table or a nightly downtime window. Small acts keep connections alive—send a quick “thinking of you,” drop off soup, remember birthdays.
Give kids and teens social reps. Let them order their own food, pay at the till, answer the door politely, and chat with adults as well as peers. Practise a friendly hello, eye contact, and a few conversation starters (“What’s been the best part of your day?” is a good one). If conflict happens, model how to apologise properly and repair the relationship. Encourage them to host—game nights, study sessions—because creating spaces for people builds confidence and community.
If you’re rebuilding your social muscle as an adult, start low‑pressure. Walk‑and‑talks, a class where you’re doing something with your hands, or a monthly book club are easier than loud nights out. UK‑friendly places to meet people include Parkrun on Saturday mornings, volunteering sites like Do‑it or local charity shops, adult‑ed classes at your council college, community sports leagues, choirs, climbing gyms, faith groups, or Meetup groups for hobbies. For teens, great options include libraries, Duke of Edinburgh, Scouts/Guides, youth theatre, coding clubs and local workshops. Find “third places” (not home, not work) like libraries, cafés and parks where it’s easy to bump into the same faces.
Bottom line: relationships are a life support system. In‑person connection teaches the human stuff—kindness, courage, communication—that opens doors and gets you through the tough bits. Treat people like a priority and protect your relationships; the rest gets easier.
Reading: fiction, non‑fiction, and winding down well
Reading feels like a skill that’s at risk of being lost, and that’s a shame because it’s a genuine superpower. Fiction and non‑fiction both matter—and a mix of the two is best. Fiction builds empathy, imagination, vocabulary and focus; it lets you live a hundred lives and understand people unlike yourself. Non‑fiction gives you tools you can use—ideas from history, science, money and psychology. Together they sharpen your mind, calm your nervous system, and make you a better conversationalist.
One of the best times to read is in bed as you wind down. Swap TV or doomscrolling for 10–20 minutes with a book; it’s gentler on your brain than a bright screen and helps you switch off. The easiest way to read more is to keep something handy—a paperback, Kindle or audiobook—and grab small pockets of time on the commute, over a cup of tea, or while cooking. Audiobooks absolutely count.
To keep things interesting, I try to read one non‑fiction book for every three fiction books, and I mix the themes so I stay engaged—maybe a mystery, then some sci‑fi, then a memoir, then a psychology or history pick. Visit the library, try a book swap with friends, or join a low‑pressure book club. For kids, let them choose (graphic novels and series are great gateways) and read together sometimes, even if it’s just a chapter.
Give yourself permission to quit books that aren’t clicking, note a favourite quote now and then, and chat about what you’re reading—half the fun is sharing it. The goal isn’t to finish the most books; it’s to keep curiosity alive and make reading a simple, daily habit.
DIY skills: confidence through doing
This is something I wish I was better at. I wasn’t involved enough in DIY growing up, and it’s harder to learn as an adult—which is exactly why I want to make it normal for my kids. Knowing how to fix small things isn’t about being “naturally handy”; it’s confidence, problem‑solving, and not waiting weeks for a tiny repair. Plus, there’s nothing like the feeling of “I fixed that.”
Start small and involve kids early: torch‑holding, reading instructions, measuring and marking, handing over screws. Little jobs build competence—changing a lightbulb, tightening a hinge, building flat‑pack, filling a small hole, touching up paint, resealing a bath, hanging a picture with the right wall plugs. As confidence grows, try drilling, putting up a shelf, swapping a door handle, changing a tap washer, bleeding a radiator, or basic bike maintenance. If you’re renting, check your agreement; stick to reversible fixes (Command hooks, filling tiny holes properly) and always restore to the original condition.
A simple starter toolkit (UK): tape measure, Phillips and flat screwdrivers, hammer, spirit level, utility knife, pliers, adjustable spanner, Allen key set, stud finder, assorted screws and wall plugs (rawl plugs), sandpaper, filler and caulk with a gun, masking tape, and a decent drill/driver with wood/masonry bits. Keep a small “fix‑it” list on the fridge and a house notebook with paint codes, measurements, filter sizes, and photos as you take things apart.
Safety first, always. Turn off power at the breaker, shut off the water at the stopcock, wear eye protection, and read the manual before you start. Know your limits: gas work, boiler issues, consumer‑unit electrics, and anything structural are for pros. That judgment is part of being competent.
Final thoughts: a living list, not a rulebook
This isn’t an exhaustive checklist or a set of hard rules—just a living list of ideas I’ve been thinking about lately and want to pass on. The common thread is simple: start small, keep it daily, and let time do the compounding. Save early (LISA, pensions, an emergency buffer). Pick a direction, build proof, and stay adaptable. Learn in tiny, social bursts. Build habits with systems, not willpower. Mind your manners. Move your body to protect your mind. Show up in real life for the people who matter. Read to widen your world. Try DIY to build confidence through doing.
If even one of these lands early, it can change the way a young person moves through the world.
Over to you: what’s missing? What do you wish someone had taught you 10 years sooner—and what do you want to teach your kids that isn’t on this list? Drop a comment or message me; I’d love to include your best lessons in a future update.
The Life of J 