Reflecting on My Shifting Relationship with Social Media

Social media has been a constant presence throughout my life. I was part of the generation that grew up both with and without it — old enough to remember life before Facebook, but young enough to get swept up in the excitement of its rise. Over the years I’ve used platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Reddit, and YouTube, and my feelings towards them have shifted dramatically. 

What once felt exciting, fresh, and fun now feels complicated. Social media can still be useful — for staying in touch, sharing memories, or learning something new — but it also comes with its fair share of downsides: endless ads, negativity, comparison culture, and the addictive pull to keep scrolling. 

In this post, I want to reflect honestly on my relationship with social media — the good, the bad, and why I’ve found myself using it less and less as the years go by. 

Growing Up With (and Without) Social Media 

I feel lucky to have grown up in a generation that experienced both life with and without social media. I was aware of platforms like MySpace and MSN Messenger, though I didn’t really use them myself. MSN in particular was huge among my friends at school — everyone seemed to rush home just to carry on conversations there. I never joined in, but I remember watching how central it was to their social lives. 

My parents didn’t let me join social media until I was 13, when I was finally allowed to create a Facebook account. At the time I hated being left out, but looking back, I understand why they made me wait. Facebook in those days was a completely different beast. It felt fresh, exciting, and almost like a game — whoever had the most friends was the most popular. 

I wasn’t exactly a social butterfly, so my own use of Facebook was fairly modest. I mostly logged in to play games like Social Empires and Social Wars, or to chat with close friends (and occasionally try my luck talking to a girl). The time I spent online was short and sweet, usually 15–20 minutes of chatting in broken abbreviations like “wuu2”, all squeezed into a narrow window on the family computer. Smartphones weren’t around yet — we just had brick-like mobiles for calls, texts, and tinny MP3s beamed across by Bluetooth. In hindsight, I’m actually a bit envious of that simplicity. 

From there, I started experimenting with other platforms. One I remember dabbling in was Kik, after friends convinced me to join group chats with people I’d never actually met. It didn’t stick, but it was my first taste of how social media could connect you beyond your immediate circle. Things only really took off for me once Instagram and Snapchat launched, though. For the first time, social media wasn’t just about chatting or games — it was about sharing moments, photos, and stories, and being plugged into what everyone else was doing in real time. 

The Positives 

Social media has definitely had its benefits. One of the best things about it is how easy it makes it to stay connected. I can keep in touch with friends and family all over the world, something that would have been far harder without it. Back in the early days, it felt incredible to be able to message someone instantly, no matter where they were. 

It’s also been a great way to keep up with interests and hobbies. Whether it’s technology, LEGO, Formula 1, or gaming, I can get the latest news in seconds. I don’t have to wait for magazines or television coverage — I can open an app and find whole communities discussing the things I care about. 

Another strength of social media is how it gives a platform to small businesses and creative people. Artists, writers, and even bloggers like me can share their work with audiences they’d never reach otherwise. It’s a powerful tool for self-promotion and for discovering voices you’d never come across in day-to-day life. 

I also really like how it helps with sharing memories. Facebook’s reminders for photos from years ago always make me smile, and often bring back moments I’d completely forgotten. Without those prompts, a lot of those pictures would probably just sit buried in my cloud storage, never to be looked at again. 

On the learning side, I think social media has been transformative. YouTube and Reddit have become daily tools for me — not just for entertainment, but for solving technical problems at work, learning new skills, and even just winding down with a video in the evening. In many ways, YouTube has become as much of a streaming service as Netflix or Disney+, and I think it’s one of the most valuable platforms out there. 

At its best, social media can be a tailored source of news, education, entertainment, and connection. In moderation, it really does have the ability to add value to everyday life. 

The Negatives 

As much as social media has positives, it also comes with a long list of downsides — and the older I get, the more I feel like these now outweigh the benefits. 

One of the biggest problems is how platforms are increasingly dominated by ads, algorithms, and artificial content. Instead of seeing posts from friends and family, I often have to scroll through several adverts or “suggested” posts before finding something I actually want to see. The algorithm might be clever at spotting habits and serving content that keeps me hooked, but it’s not about what I value — it’s about keeping me on the platform as long as possible. 

That leads into the next issue: addiction and wasted time. I find myself using it intentionally much less, and more out of boredom — the classic “I’ve not got anything going on right now so I’m going to have a quick scroll.” The problem is that a quick scroll often turns into “Oh God, I’ve wasted 45 minutes and now I’m late for work.” It’s shocking how easy it is to lose time without realising, and it leaves me feeling drained rather than entertained. 

Then there’s the problem of negativity and misinformation. With the rise of AI and content farms, it’s harder than ever to know what’s real and what isn’t. Platforms are flooded with clickbait, outrage, and fake news. Extreme opinions spread quickly, while balanced discussion often gets buried. Add to that the toxic side of anonymity — fake accounts, bullying, and impersonation — and it’s easy to see how damaging it can become. 

Another issue is comparison culture. Social media lets people carefully curate their lives, showing only the highlights — the cars, the holidays, the successes — while hiding the struggles and everyday realities. For younger users especially, it creates unrealistic expectations of what “normal” looks like and fuels feelings of inadequacy. It’s no surprise self-esteem issues are so common when kids are growing up constantly measuring themselves against influencers or even peers who seem to have it all. 

And finally, I have mixed feelings about TikTok. On one hand, I know it can be a useful platform for creativity, quick learning, and entertainment. On the other, its reputation for highly addictive short-form content and privacy concerns makes me wary. I’ve avoided using it myself, partly because I know how easily it could eat away at my time without giving me much value in return.

How It Makes Me Feel Today 

As an adult, I’d describe my relationship with social media as very mixed. The older I get, the more I realise it isn’t what it once was, and in many ways it feels more harmful than good. 

These days, I use social media less intentionally and more out of habit. I’ll often open Facebook or Reddit when I’m bored, with no real reason other than “I’ve got a spare moment.” A quick scroll often turns into wasted time, and I come away feeling like I’ve achieved nothing. Reddit at least gives me a sense of purpose — I might go there to check F1 news, troubleshoot a tech issue, or explore a hobby community. Facebook, by contrast, feels like noise: ad after ad, suggested posts, and then maybe a glimpse of something from family or friends. It doesn’t add much value to my life anymore, and I often regret using it. 

Over the years I’ve slowly cut back. I deleted Snapchat and Instagram and don’t miss them at all. WhatsApp doesn’t feel like “social media” to me — it’s just replaced SMS and calling as my main way of keeping in touch. YouTube is in a different category too: I treat it more like Netflix or Disney+, a mix of entertainment and learning, rather than a feed to scroll. In fact, I’d say YouTube has become one of the most useful tools I use daily, both at work and at home. 

The biggest frustration is the habitual pull. I catch myself checking my phone when I don’t even need to, almost on autopilot. That itch is hard to ignore, and I know it comes from years of using platforms designed to train attention spans around notifications, short clips, and constant stimulation. It doesn’t feel intentional anymore — it feels like a reflex. 

I’ve even tried ways to break the habit. I installed a minimalist phone app that removes colourful icons and forces me to type out app names instead of just tapping them. I’ve also set my phone to switch into black-and-white mode after 8pm, which makes apps far less visually appealing. These changes sound small, but they make a difference. It’s harder to scroll mindlessly when the apps look bland and you have to consciously go looking for them. 

Part of the problem is how locked in social media has become. A lot of apps come preinstalled on phones now and can’t be removed, and deleting accounts isn’t straightforward. Many services use Facebook login as a shortcut, which makes it even harder to cut ties completely. That interconnectedness feels suffocating sometimes — like you can’t fully step away without losing access to other things. 

Ideally, I’d like to get rid of Facebook entirely and just keep Messenger for the few people I still use it with. But for now, I still feel tied to it, even though I know it doesn’t really benefit me. Most of the time, it feels more like a bad habit than something I enjoy. 

The Bigger Picture 

Looking beyond my own use, I worry about the wider impact social media is having on society. 

The most obvious issue is addiction culture. Platforms are designed to retain attention at all costs, and for many people — myself included — using them has become more of a reflex than a choice. If you swapped “social media” for “drugs” and described the same impulsive behaviours, alarm bells would be ringing everywhere. The difference is that social media is accessible, free, and normalised, which makes the problem harder to see. 

I also think a lot about younger generations. We joke about “iPad kids,” but it’s no longer funny when you see it happening everywhere. I notice it all the time when I’m out and about — kids in buggies glued to iPads instead of just watching the world go by, or children in restaurants pestering their parents until they hand over a tablet. When I was younger, I’d happily spend time at Pizza Hut drawing on the paper menus or reading while waiting for food — but now it seems that sort of thing has almost disappeared. Screens have taken over. 

This has shifted the way we communicate too. With autocorrect and predictive text doing so much of the work, grammar and spelling skills have suffered. Eye contact, body language, and other vital social skills risk being lost when most conversations happen through a screen. I know I’ve become lazier with writing over the years — it’s something I can see in myself. 

Then there are the privacy concerns. People often forget that platforms aren’t really free — we pay with our data. Social media doesn’t just track what we post; it logs our habits, what we click, how long we look at something, even where we are when we use the app. That information is sold on to advertisers, and while it makes for effective marketing, it comes at the cost of personal privacy. 

Another problem is comparison culture and curated reality. People present polished versions of their lives online — the cars, the trips, the “perfect” lifestyles — while hiding the everyday struggles. This creates unrealistic expectations, particularly for young people, and it fuels insecurity when their own lives don’t measure up. It also amplifies extremes: feeds are often filled with either intense positivity or outright negativity, rarely the ordinary middle ground. 

Finally, there’s the issue of constant accessibility. With smartphones and social media, people expect instant responses. Decades ago, you might send a letter and wait days or weeks for a reply. Now, if you don’t answer a message within hours, people assume you’re ignoring them. That expectation creates pressure to always be available — fuelling the cycle of constant checking and feeding into the addiction. 

Final Reflections 

When I step back and look at my own relationship with social media, I can’t say it brings me much value anymore. Facebook, in particular, feels more like a bad habit than something I enjoy. It used to be exciting — logging on after school to chat with friends or play a quick game — but now it’s a feed of ads, suggested content, and distractions I didn’t ask for. More often than not, I come away feeling like I’ve wasted my time. 

That’s why I’ve gradually been cutting back. I’ve deleted Snapchat and Instagram, and I see Facebook as the next one to go. If I could keep Messenger and drop the main app, I probably would. Reddit and YouTube still feel useful, but in different ways — Reddit gives me communities and answers, YouTube feels like a streaming service as much as anything else. WhatsApp I see as separate altogether, just a replacement for texts and calls. 

The more I reflect on it, the more I believe social media in its current form does more harm than good. The positives are still there — memories, connections, learning — but they’re buried under algorithms, ads, comparison culture, and addictive design. I don’t think we can escape it completely, but I do think it’s worth being intentional about how and why we use it. 

For me, that means continuing to scale back, using it with purpose rather than out of habit, and carving out space where social media doesn’t intrude. I’m much happier in that smaller, simpler bubble — and I think that’s where I’ll keep heading. 

💭 What about you? How do you feel about social media these days — is it still a positive in your life, or do you find yourself wanting to step back like I do?